will be going back to the retreat to visit the guys there one more time just before i fly. beautiful things always happens when i go there – the first time i was brought out to sea, the second time i had the magical encounter with the dolphins and exchanging ghost stories at night while sitting round the fire outside. maybe nothing extraordinary will happen this time round, but being around such amazing souls is a special experience in itself.
for some reason, i feel really drawn to the people at the retreat, like there’s a sense of affinity between us. i love their company because they are so non-judgemental and i can just totally be myself – i can speak my mind about life, about spirituality, eat raw and not get the vibes that i get from some other people. there are not many people i can speak to with such freedom without being ‘attacked’ (either verbally or emotionally), and certainly not many strangers.
they don’t label either, and what good does labelling do ayway. it just helps us put the other person into another pigeonhole so that we never really get to know them because we think we do already – “_______ people always do things like that, it’s no surprise”. anything or anyone outside of our comfortable sphere of reference or understanding immediately gets labelled as “different”, “weird”, “unusual”, “crazy”……
“oh you’re just one of those ‘new-age’ types”, “oh another health freak”… maybe my thoughts are rather unusual or even “new-agey”, but i never thought of myself as being new-age; i just know what i know, think what i think and do what i do. and it works for me.
i never really felt like i fit in much back in singapore or korea, because the way i think and the things that i want out of life are very different from that of the people around me. and it’s also just being around people who are not judging others all the time – the energy is just different eh. there’s a sense of peace and harmony when part of a group like that.
i don’t usually care about how people see me, but sometimes when i sense a person starting to judge me within just 5 minutes of our meeting, i get affected to some extent, even though another part of me is comfortable enough with who i am to not give a hoot.
and in my opinion, there is a difference between judging and discerning – the latter being something like, taking a look at a situation or person and deciding that that’s not somewhere you want to be or someone you want to be friends with, while the former would be like, “my god she’s so fat, how the hell did she ever let herself go like that???”
i’ll be back in sg soon… and while part of me is looking forward to see the people i love, another part of me is not looking forward to the general vibes of that place. everytime i go back i just can’t wait to get out… and i know that one day i will.
as i said before in the previous post, i long so much to live in the country and be pretty much self-sufficient, at least food-wise.
