just finished reading the highly-anticipated biography of the man who has become synonymous with Apple, written by walter isacsson.
this post is not meant to be a review of the book; it will be more introspective, maybe even random and incoherent, as reading about one of the most passionate businessmen of the century unexpectedly prompted a journey of self-reflection, in part because in more ways than one, i see could see myself in him (NOT that i am trying to insinuate in any way that i am even in his league).
i can identify very clearly with jobs’ prickly subborness. like jobs, i flirt with extreme diets – as much as possible, i try to stick to my raw food diet, with exceptions being made for some cooked veges. i draw the line at highly-processed and refined foods, and stay far away from meats. i love fruit so much that i could see myself being a fruitarian, if only organic fruit were not so expensive in singapore (hence my dream of owning a fruit orchard, where i can have access to as much tree-ripened fruit as i can plant).
i can even imagine myself refusing to go for surgery if i were diagnosed with cancer, because, like jobs, i hate the idea of letting my body get cut open. and his congenital proclivity to ignore things that he didn’t want to deal with? man, i can so identify with that. from little things like refusing to read emails from certain people, to bigger personal, existential issues.
like jobs, i can be extremely stubborn, sometimes to the point of being dogmatic, and i have little patience for people that “just don’t get it”. if i have a opposing stance from you and i can’t be bothered to argue my point, it doesn’t mean that i agree with you or that you have won. it just means that i think so little of you and your opinion that you are not even worth my time.
jobs was never known for being politically-correct nor mild-mannered – and he himself admits that he is quite “mercurial”. he had a temper, and never held himself back. he “got” people as much as he “got” products and was a skilful manipulator of people. he could size up a person quickly, and knew how to cause the most hurt using only words.
i used to be exactly like that.
i had a horrible temper, and when i was upset, i would throw things around, slam doors, and would spew words dripping with poison at whoever happened to cross my path, whether or not they were the cause of my rage, even if they were my beloved family members.
because of my “quiet nature”, people assumed that i was “nice”, not knowing that i can and would shamelessly work this to my advantage, and manipulate people to get what i want (though i must add i never used this ‘skill’ for sinister purposes, but mostly to get out of trouble or escape from things that i didn’t want to do).
and don’t get me started on authority. i hate authority with a passion, and having to do anything i don’t want to do just because ‘everyone else is doing it’ or because it would be socially acceptable. to hell with what society thinks; if i can’t do what i love full-time, i’d rather do what i like part-time and have a less stable source of income, than to toil away 9 hours a day at a job i hate and doing things i don’t believe in, even if it will bring me a stable source of income.
religion, jobs said, was at its best when it emphasized spiritual experiences rather than religious dogma. something happened in my life, and i went on a spiritual search. i never went to india or actively sought spiritual masters like him, but i devoured as much information as i could find on the internet, and finally found the “answer” to my questions about spirituality and religion that i could be comfortable with. maybe it’s not the “right” answer, but it is “my answer”, and whenever someone tries to “share” or “convert” me to organised religion, i nod politely and shut off.
while jobs maintained his prickly demeanor till he left this world, i became more self-aware as a result of my search and mellowed quite a bit, though i still do not gladly suffer (people whom i consider) fools. while i don’t insult people to their face directly, i can be pretty mean when it comes to my thoughts. hurhur.
i guess my point is that while many people tend to view him as mean, stubborn, and maybe even heartless, i can actually identify, sort of, with that kind of personality and the motivations behind it. looking back, i actually sometimes wish i still had some of my spunk left, but i’ve become so toned-down and passive that i feel sad every time i think about it. 
on one hand i want the old me back, though i readily admit that i can do without the manipulative and hurtful bit.
in 2003, the year i matriculated, i was in the market for a new laptop, all ready to start a new life. i enrolled in the computing course, and despite concerns about incompatible software (all the more relevant since i would be doing programming) i got seduced by the beauty and elegance of the powerbook and never looked back since, even though the machine that i got was a lemon and had to visit the service centre a few times.
in fact, my worries turned out to be completely unfounded – i never had to use windows for any of my course work as we mainly programmed in java, and i could vpn into the school’s servers when i was programming in asp. anyone who told me that macs are incompatible with everything became idiots in my eyes. for whatever you wanted to do, you could always find a software that for it. and the interface was so much prettier to look at.
that wasn’t my first experience with an apple computer (i had used a mac when i was sent for computer classes when i was very, very young, though i didn’t know at that time it was a mac, but i remember clearly being taught by the teacher to ‘drag the file to the trash’, the graphical interface, the icons, and i looked forward to every lesson) though it was the first apple product that i ever owned, and from then on, i never considered any other brand for my computing needs. except the mobile phone, i am a huge fan of the iphone, though i never actually got round to buying one. hopefully that will change with the iphone 5.
while i wasn’t so much of a “brand” person, i was a design snob. i wanted the things i owned to look nice, on top of being functional. if the design is ugly, i will never be associated with it. (the LV monogram bags that so many singaporean ladies love? it’s fugly. hate it with a passion. not worth even $1 imho.) i’m still not a brand person, but apple became the only brand that i am (note the present tense) loyal to, and passionate about. no other brand spoke to my sense of the aesthetic the way apple did. and the user experience was amazingly seamless and elegant, and somehow you just end up falling in love with an inanimate object.
apple’s products look nice, are functional, and are a joy to use. they have a certain je ne sai quois about them, which if you got it, you got it; and if you didn’t, then no amount of explanation will serve to enlighten.
reading about jobs’ insistence on perfection, his attention to detail, made me appreciate more the work (both physical and mental) that had gone behind each carefully-crafted product.
i don’t worship jobs, but i do admire very much his burning passion, his uncanny vision, and uncompromising personality.
of course, i am fully aware that like jobs, apple does have its flaws, but have you seen the clunky alternatives? flawed perfection? sure, i can live with that.
do i recommend this book? definitely, even to people who care shit about apple. his life reads more like a pixar movie than the usual hollywood fare, which have become quite bland, uninspiring and run-of-the-mill (the hollywood movies, not pixar).
drama? check.
a perfectly flawed demigod as its protagonist? check.
a demigod who falls from grace, then returns, shining more brightly than ever? check.
a happy ending? not so, but kind of, if you consider the legacy that jobs left behind.
