have you ever got drunk?

15 Jan 2012 at 11:36

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met up with someone yesterday, who had a favour to ask of me, and got very turned off by the things she said and her attitude.

as a materialistic person, she chases branded goods and the high life. in her younger days, i guess you could say she was a party animal.

so we were talking, and she asked me, “have you ever been drunk?”

i shook my head.

“when was the last time you did something crazy?”

“when i left singapore for 3 years?”

“that’s not crazy. have you ever just gone to do something fun, let yourself go?”

this made me mad.

WHO THE HELL is she to judge my life? i have NO DESIRE to go party and get drunk, that’s stupid, childish and does no good to my body nor add anything to my life. just because YOU think you are cool because of your party-girl background, doesn’t mean that the whole world wants your lifestyle. that kind of lifestyle is not for me, and like i said, i think it’s a stupid lifestyle.

MY idea of crazy is: jumping off a bridge, jumping off a plane, running off a cliff, going to a foreign country to stay when i don’t know the language, flying off to the grand canyon to work just a few days after my last paper.

crazy enough?

i was so pissed i didn’t even wish to argue with her–there’s no way you can argue with this kind of people who think their life is oh-so-perfect. who are you to judge my life based in your own values? i don’t share the same values as you, and i’m glad i don’t.

sorry, but i won’t be helping you. i don’t respect you, and i don’t like the fact that you take advantage of my parents’ generosity. it’s not like we are close; you call me out of the blue to ask for a favour, and why should i help you? just because we are “family”?

no, i don’t think you have ever treated me like family, not from the way you ‘fleece’ my parents. i am most willing to help people i care about, people whom i share true feelings with, even if they are not ‘family’. and i help them unconditionally.

but i can’t bring myself to help someone like you.

i know i shouldn’t think this way, but.

my goals for 2012…

30 Dec 2011 at 12:04

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…are very simple. just 2:

  • wwoof in korea
  • northern lights (again)

i think the northern lights trip will join the ranks of korea to become one of my yearly trips. as long as i can make these two trips every year, i’ll be happy. :D

it’s true. the northern lights are addictive. HEH.

2011 was a year of liberation; i finally broke free from the soul-sucking clutches of corporate life. it was the year i learned to stand on my own two feet, striking it out on my own. may 2012 be the year i get to really fly solo–and soar.

signs

01 Nov 2011 at 03:34

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it seems that, of late, i have been doing most of my writing in the dead of the night.

it’s already the first of november. 1/11/11.

i’ve always thought of myself as a traveller – not so much in the usual sense of the word, but more towards the i’m-only-visiting-earth, earth-is-not-my-home-planet sense. and i’m the sort of person who does not plan a detailed itinerary when i go on trips, so naturally it would follow that i’m a very bad planner when it comes to my life in general.

see, i get through life by following my heart, doing things that i want to do and avoidng the things that i don’t. and that’s all fine and dandy, when my heart wants to do something. but more often than not, it’s in a state of zen stillness.

like now.

and i end up feeling extremely lost. it’s like, i’ve suddenly decided to take a trip somewhere, only to get to my destination and realise that there’s not much to do or see, and i’m standing in the middle of this vast nowhere, finding myself in this bizzare situation of being exactly where i wanted to be, only that it’s not quite what i expected, and having absolutely no idea in the world what i am supposed to do or where i should go from this point on.

my modus operandi has been to follow the signs, the wind, the stars, the fireflies – hell, in this situation i’ll even follow a spider – anything, just so that i can get somewhere else and maybe hopefully in the process, i’ll get to figure out the reason my heart so wanted to get here in the first place.

and so far, so good. this way of living has enriched my life in so many ways and i’ve had my fair share of pleasant surprises (i’m always telling the universe to “surprise me!!”) but for the past year, my heart has been mostly a zen garden. it started beating passionately when it was basking in the northern lights, but it’s now back to zen-mode.

there must be something more to this. but what?

why on earth did i come to earth for? why did i choose to take this trip? what does my heart know that i don’t?

let me expand that question further – why earth, of all the planets in the universe?

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